“Many of us have been raised by parents who had a tendency to compare because they were also raised that way; hence the habit of comparing ourselves with others is embedded in our system,” said Dr Sumitra Sridhar, a Psychologist, said. Discussing the same, Shaheen Bhatt – who has previously opened up about her struggle with mental health and anxiety – Revealed how she manages to compare herself with others in a conversation with singer-songwriter Ananya Birla on her mental health platform ‘Here Comes the Sun’.
“I use emotions as a signal for internal states,” she said, whenever she feels like she’s not doing enough, as she tries to figure out “what signals it might give me.” Used to be.” “Usually, it’s indicating that I’m comparing myself to everyone around me,” she adds, adding that by comparing myself to others, “I’m focusing on what What should I do, and ‘should’ is a terrible word they think needs to be removed from our vocabulary.”
Agree Dr Samir Parikh, Mental Health and Behavioral Sciences, Fortis Healthcare, who said that “instead of looking at our individuality and uniqueness,” by comparison, “we begin to look at what we see as someone else’s strengths.” “
Furthermore, Dr. Sridhar said that people compare themselves to others for two important reasons: “I get to see how better I am or how they are better than me, and both can weigh on a person.” Huh. self respect, “When you recognize that your perception of the other person can change how you see yourself — not being good enough — feelings of self-esteem, inferiority, worthlessness, pity and sadness arise,” she said. indianexpress.com,
during the conversation, Shaheen It also said that we “must move at our own pace, and when we start imagining that we have to go at the pace that everyone else is going, that’s when things get really tense.” Talking about what she does in such a situation, the author said, “I like to set my own internal goals and they seem very different from other people’s goals.” She went on to say that whenever she feels that she “doesn’t match up with the things I want to do, I take a pause and think about what I need to change,” and, “Try to figure out how I can do things or be more productive.”
But, Dr. Sridhar said making comparisons can be healthy too – “as long as you’re recognizing the intent behind it.” “Healthy comparisons come from comparing your past to your present, but when you look on the outside it becomes unhealthy,” she said.
What can one do to stop comparing oneself with others?
According to Dr Sridhar,
*Verify your own achievements: Sit down and process your growth by giving yourself feedback. “We want others to reassure us that we are better but giving ourselves that assurance can be extremely satisfying,” she said.
* Identify the outcome of the comparison – does it make you comfortable or uncomfortable?
* Set realistic goals
* Explain to parents that their definition of best isn’t fixed – it’s like comparing apples and oranges. “Giving children autonomy and listening will make them feel good and respected,” she said.